To Be Continued...

There’s no place like home…

Leaving Liberia was actually harder than I thought it would be, though. I was definitely excited to come home, but as time drew nearer to leaving, more and more of me was longing to stay. Part of it was because I didn’t want to leave the friends I had made there, but part of me also didn’t want to leave the lifestyle behind. Over there things seem much more simple and life moves at a slower pace. And I was worried about coming home. Not so much fearing that it would be difficult adapting back to the American lifestyle, but precisely because I was afraid of quickly falling back into the same old routine with Africa seeming only like a distant memory.

With the experience of living in Africa and returning home numerous times, Sister Raphael warned me that this can indeed happen soon after returning to America. The time spent over there can seem like a dream. Saying phrases like, “when I was in Africa…” can sound shocking even to yourself. And Rachel also warned in those situations to be easy on yourself. We may be tempted to feel that now, since we have had this experience, we should still strive to live the African lifestyle here in America, but under most circumstances that just isn’t realistic. We must do what we can, but aim smaller. Prayer is the best aid we can give anyway. We just have to continue saying yes to God. Mother Teresa even said that, “Every day you have to say yes. Total surrender! To be where He wants you to be…if God wants you to be in a palace, alright…accept to be in the palace.”

So on that note, I would like to ask for your continued prayers for Bob and I. That we may always carry with us these experiences that we have been blessed with, and allow them to continually transform and renew our lives. And I would also like to thank you all again for the prayers you have already offered us over the course of the summer. This is without a doubt what helped us make it through some of the tougher, darker moments of this mission. And not only the prayers, but the support and accountability it gave just knowing that you all were there beside us along every part of our journey.

I will miss everyone I met in Tubmanburg. Especially the priests I was fortunate to work alongside and learn from, and the young men that I was privileged to get to know over these past ten weeks. Not to mention Sister Raphael, Rachel, and Jackie who gave me a piece of home when I needed it the most.

Finally, thank you to Bishop Lynch and Catholic Relief Services, as well as both the Diocese of St. Petersburg and the Archdiocese of Monrovia, for making this experience become a reality for me. I can honestly say that this trip has changed my life, and I hope that I may be able to share my experiences with all of you sometime soon.

And even though this may be the end of this particular blog, I feel that it is really only the beginning. The beginning of a new chapter, a new mission. And wherever God may be calling us next, any of us, may we be willing to say yes and offer our total surrender to Him.

So until next time, may we meet each day in our prayers and in the Eucharist.

-Dan
written 08/18/11

Hometown Glory

It is a strange feeling walking down the street these last few days. I am extremely excited to come back home tomorrow, but at the same time I am sad to leave this place. After ten weeks in Africa, nine spent here in Tubmanburg, this place has become quite familiar to me. It has become my African hometown.

There is a song by Adele titled Hometown Glory, and part of the chorus goes, “Round my hometown, oh the people I’ve met, are the wonders of my world.” And this has truly been the case for me. It is the people that have made this place a home-faraway-from-home for me. I’ll admit that the constant stares and being hollered at isn’t all that Hollywood cracks it up to be, but I will miss just strolling down the streets greeting the people as I go. Meeting familiar faces and getting to know the locals. Having the children run up with arms outstretched and the excitement I felt the first time someone actually referred to me as Dan instead of “white-man.”

Even talking to the young men on the mission is a bitter-sweet feeling. We were told before we left that building relationships would be our primary purpose in union with our pastoral work. And while ten weeks is a good amount of time to begin these relationships, it does leave me at a loss, wishing I had more time to get to know these “mission boys.”

And I never would have thought that I would make quite a few American friends while in Africa, let alone one from my very own neck of the woods.

Other than the occasional asking to be taken back to America with me, I’ve had a few others say that they will visit in the years to come. I doubt it, but even today one of the men said that ten years from now he will travel to America. I just laughed. That is everyone’s dream here, and I hope it comes true for some of them. But this is something that we must not take for granted being blessed to live where we do.

I pray that at least some these relationships may last, though, and that we will all continue to pray for one another. They all ask when I’ll be back to Liberia. Maybe one day I’ll return to my “African hometown.” If I have learned anything in these past few years it is that you really never know where God will lead you next. But as for now, all I know is that my next stop is home…

-Dan
written 08/16/11

Waves of Grace

This past weekend I was able to make one last trip around Liberia before my departure on Wednesday. Rachel and I were invited to another mission about three hours away in a city called Careysburg. So on Friday we met up with a friend named Chris, yet another local American, who is the director of this mission.

Liberia Mission Inc. was originally founded in 2003 as an orphanage. This mission has expanded greatly these past eight years, though, and now house around one hundred children (boys and girls). The property also holds a chapel where a priest comes to say Mass every Sunday and a school that goes up through the ninth grade.

I originally wanted to make it to a town called Robertsport during my time in Liberia, but that turned out to be a good distance away so we were never able to make it over there. The reason I wanted to go there was because it is a popular beach destination in Liberia. But this last trip was more than sufficient to make up for Robertsport.

So then, before we headed back to Bomi, we went to lunch Saturday afternoon with one of the local priests. We ended up at a hotel that supposedly had pretty decent food. When we walked around to the restaurant in the back, however, the heavens opened up and the light shone beautifully onto the rolling waves and white sand of a pristine African beach. So we had a delicious lunch, pleasant company, and the sound of the ocean to round off my time in Africa beautifully.

And what would end the day better than an authentic Liberian taxi ride back to Bomi? Seven passengers squeezed very uncomfortably into a normal sized taxi that would fit four passengers fairly comfortably back home.

Oh Africa, how I will miss thee.

-Dan
written 08/14/11

Dawn From on High

I can’t believe that I’m within my last week here in Liberia. I’m even more surprised by the fact that I’ve already spent nine weeks in Africa. But what else is surprising is that throughout this blog I have not once mentioned SeaWorld. And who would I be if I didn’t? Anyway, around here the mention of SeaWorld or working with killer whales (my claim to fame) means nothing...humility check. But my reason for writing this entry actually has to do with what I learned from my experience working there in relation to this African mission.

During my time working at Shamu Stadium I was able to be a part of an amazing team of trainers. And there was one in particular, Dawn Brancheau, who tragically lost her life in an accident involving one of the whales. She was a continued inspiration while on the job, and even now as her legacy lives on in our hearts.

All through college I interned and worked at SeaWorld, aspiring to be a trainer when I finished. And I feel that I got as close as I possibly could (and technically my job title was Associate Trainer) when I felt the call to enter seminary. It was tough to leave, but I received great support from all the trainers, particularly Dawn. Through this I discovered that she was a Catholic as well, and a special connection was immediately formed. We then were able to share our mutual faith with one another and she couldn’t have been happier for my decision. And the one time I got onto the top level of the stage was with Dawn, and there we prayer for the safety of the animals and the trainers…

Dawn also shared with me her desire to soon visit Africa as part of a mission team through a priest that she knew. She brought him backstage once and made sure that I was there to meet him. The organization that he founded is in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and was created in response to the devastated living conditions of millions of children. At this point I had no idea that I would one day soon end up in Africa myself.

When I was discerning the seminary and praying about the option of working as a trainer, the one question that always tugged at me was whether I would be fully satisfied doing that work. And while God seemed to be calling me personally in a different direction, Dawn showed me that, without a doubt, you could be. By her ever-present enthusiasm and zeal, she showed me that no matter where we may be called to in this world, we are all called to let the light of Christ to shine through us. And by realizing the plan that God has for us will allow us to do just that. As St. Catherine of Sienna said, “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”

Being blessed with the opportunity to do mission work in Africa, I have kept Dawn close in prayer. And I believe that I have been able to discover a little more about exactly who God has made me to be. This chance to build relationships with the people, and especially the children, has been a once in a lifetime experience that I will always remember. And I know that Dawn would have loved it too, and more importantly, they would have loved her.

As I have starting saying goodbye to the various groups that I visit throughout the week, today one boy asked me why I was sent here to him. I paused, kind of shocked actually, that this boy felt as though God has sent me to him personally. I was filled with thanks to God for that moment and for apparently making an impact in this child’s life…then I realized that the boy actually asked what will I send him when I get back to America. Nevertheless, I will remember that memory the way I want, and send him some prayers when I get back home.

And I always continue my prayer for the safety of the animals and trainers at SeaWorld. And as we pray every morning during the Liturgy of the Hours:

In the tender compassion of our God
The Dawn from on high shall break upon us,
To shine on those who dwell in darkness and the shadow of death,
And to guide our feet into the way of peace.

-Dan
written 08/11/11

Local Talent

By popular demand, I would like to share with you a little bit about Liberia’s resident Floridian, Rachel Gillman. Rachel was kind enough to give me an interview so that I could put this post together and she could share a bit of her story with everyone (she even had fresh peanut butter cookies made when I showed up, but I told her that she couldn’t bribe me so easily…turns out she could). Her family moved to Florida when she was a child and they have attended St. Timothy’s Catholic Church in Lutz ever since.

Rachel attended college at Furman University in South Carolina, and double majored in Biology and Sociology. She always heart for mission work and social justice, however, and since her biology major required her to complete an internship, she decided to satisfy both by spending the summer between her junior and senior years in Ghana. There she helped with HIV and AIDS treatment and awareness.

Coming back to the States proved to be more challenging than expected, though. After some time, the rhythm of life and school caught back up to her, and the feeling of desolate and desiring to do more sank in. The prospect of further mission work was still on her heart, but Rachel needed some answers first. Being in Africa it was easy to choose the more “socially just” options such as spending less money on superfluities, helping the less fortunate, even taking colder (some could say more energy efficient) showers. But this was because there was no a choice. This is the way of life in these parts of the world.

So in order to make the choice to live socially just, to figure out how to truly live out the Gospel message she turned her eyes closer to home. After some research, she decided to volunteer for a year with the Jesuit Volunteer Corps in Brooklyn, New York once she finished college. During this year she learned firsthand the four pillars of the Jesuit Volunteer Corps: Social Justice, Community, Spirituality, and Living Simply. In Brooklyn, Rachel worked in a neighborhood of Latino immigrants as a tenant advisor. This job offered her the opportunity to unofficially represent the tenants who were being illegally evicted and be a voice for those who had none.

After this experience Rachel knew what it really meant to be a missionary. So often missionaries focus of the development aspect of their work that they neglect and miss the value of the spiritual side. All too often they focus on building schools or hospitals (which are good and necessary), but the idea of building up the people themselves is lost. A common phrase I hear jokingly from the Americans around here is, “It’s not my country.” And while this is said in jest, there is truth to this statement. It is not our job to supply support until the local people become dependent on us. We must build up the people so that they will be able to support themselves. And building them up spiritually might be the most important of all. Without faith, without purpose and direction in life then desolation and hopelessness set in, and then all is lost. So we must not look at our success or worth through the eyes of man, but look through heaven’s eyes.

So with this newfound understanding and zeal, Rachel decided it was time for another trip to Africa. The organization that she decided on was the Society for African Missionaries (SMA), and she would participate in a two year missionary program. After 4 months of training, Rachel set off for Liberia with Sister Raphael and Jackie Madden in January 2010.

While in Bomi County, Liberia, Rachel works primarily at St. Dominic’s Catholic School as a biology and chemistry teacher. Being the only female teacher at the school, she also serves as the girl’s advisor and disciplinarian when necessary. She works a lot with the girls throughout the school year and has even started a “soap project” where the girls make their own soap to sell locally in order to pay for their school fees.

On top of teaching at the school, Rachel also teaches catechesis to the children at Sunday Masses and may even start working at the local hospital a bit if she can find the time. But I can vouch for the fact that when Rachel is not working on any “official” jobs, there is a constant stream of her students that visits for advice or just a friendly smile. She has also taken it upon herself to start learning sign language from some of the local deaf children, and is in the process of putting together a biology textbook that is all encompassing for their curriculum and uses local African examples that might be easier for her students to understand.

Overall, Liberia is lucky to have such a dedicated and hardworking Floridian at their disposal. Rachel had come to learn that God truly works in the unexpected, and that we are called to empty ourselves so that the Holy Spirit can fill us and complete the good work that has already begun in us.

And as for the future, well their assignment officially ends at the end of January 2012, but Rachel is going to stay on until June in order to finish off the school year. After that, God only knows…

-Dan
written 08/10/11

Lazy Sunday

So, I feel obliged to quash any rumors before they start regarding my birthday here in Africa. No, there was no sacrificial goat offered, and no, I was not branded with any tribal tattoos…and no to everything else.

Yesterday we had a dinner in honor of my birthday and Jackie’s leaving. She is heading off to Rome and then Spain for World Youth Day. So there was no animal sacrificed (there were two live chickens brought up for the offertory at Mass today, however, so it is very likely that one ended up as our lunch today), but we did have cake. And overall it was a rather lazy Sunday.

I feel that the gospel was very appropriate, though. A coincidence? Well, you know Einstein said that coincidences are God’s way of remaining anonymous. Anyhow, I’ve been praying with this particular gospel of the walking on the water for the past year. Putting myself in Peter’s shoes, being called out into the stormy waters. And on my birthday, a day usually spent with family and friends, I now find myself in a quieter situation and able to reflect more on my now twenty four years on this earth.

This also brings me to a song by Danielle Rose titled Walk on Water. In this song she narrates the gospel passage. It is a powerful song, but the end is what hits home for me today. Especially as I will be traveling home in a few days (10 be exact…not that I’m counting or anything) that I keep the stillness that I have been blessed with this summer. Asking the Lord to keep me in the harbor of His peace:

Lord, you brought out of Egypt through the water.
You baptized me with power to believe.
Truly you’re the son of God, Lord Jesus.
Keep me in the harbor of your peace.
Be still my soul, for God can do all things.

-Dan
written 08/07/11

The Lost Word

As I lay on one of the pews in the chapel staring heavenward, I close my eyes and sense the vast universe beyond me. I begin to ponder some of the mysteries of our world and our faith that have presented themselves to me recently. These thoughts that I will shortly articulate began upon my arrival back to Liberia (possibly some of the “unfinished business” I still have here), and presented themselves from the two books I am now reading. A rather strange combination perhaps, but with several surprising similarities nonetheless.

I am currently reading God’s Voice Within, a book about Ignatian discernment written by Jesuit priest Mark Thibodeaux, and The Lost Symbol, a novel by Dan Brown, infamous author of The Da Vinci Code (I found this one at the airport in Nairobi, actually hoping for The Da Vinci Code because I’ve never read it and wanted to see what all the fuss was about, but I settled for his latest novel instead). Both have been rather captivating reads, and together helped to pose several theological reflections that I will now try to share.

Spoiler Alert: I will not reveal the plot of The Lost Symbol outright, but several questions or crucial details may be revealed in this entry. So if you are planning on reading this book in the near future, ye be warned.

This is the first Dan Brown book I have read so I can’t speak for all of them, but there are many philosophical and theological discussions throughout The Lost Symbol. It also centers heavily on the Freemasons, particularly on a secret of theirs known as the Ancient Mysteries which is supposed to hold a truth that has the power to transform mankind. And while there are various claims that Brown makes that are clearly contrary to what we believe as Catholics, there are also plenty of points that are worthy of reflection.

One of the main claims that is revealed over the course of this book is that the key to unlocking the Ancient Mysteries, the legendary Lost Symbol, is on full display for all, yet invisible to most. I will not reveal what this is in the book, but I believe that in reality it is much simpler (not that I am consenting to this idea of the Ancient Mysteries, just using it now as an analogy for our faith). This is not a mystery that is hidden for the unworthy or kept secret in order to hide some ancient power from the forces of evil. On the contrary, it is on full display, but the problem is that it is invisible to those who aren’t searching for it.

St. Ignatius says that, “Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul…our one desire and choice should be what is more conducive to the end for which we are created.” Our task is easy then…in theory. To praise the Lord in our words and actions, our choices and thoughts, by the very air we breathe. So yeah, in reality this may be harder than it sounds. As a result, many have ignored, even forgotten the purpose for our creation. Forgotten this “Ancient Mystery” of humanity. The key then is our relationship with God. In order to follow Him and live the lives we were created for, we must turn to Him who is our Creator and Savior.

But there is another obstacle that we unfortunately also must face. Along with the true spirit there is also the false spirit that will try, and often succeed in derailing us from this mystery and purpose of our creation. And to this point that I will now discuss, I was rather surprised to find a consistent agreement between these two authors.

John 10:10 says that the Lord has come so that we may have life, and have it in abundance. So in our mission to praise, reverence, and serve our Lord, He in turn wishes for us to have life based in His love. And in order to guard ourselves from the false spirit who will all too often tear us down, we must be aware of that which is opposed to love.

My original thought, as I assume most, is that hate is the opposite of love. But actually, it is not. When you hate someone then you have passion, you are actively engaged in that person’s life. No, the opposite of love is actually apathy, a state where you don’t even care enough about the person to hate him (Thibodeaux, p.27). And Brown mentions this in two places, stating that, “Man’s apathy was the fertile ground in which the dark spirits tended their seeds” (p.587). So I am most unloving, most deficient of life, when I have no feelings for you at all. Even Revelation speaks of this: I wish that you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I am about to spit you out of my mouth (3:15-16).

So we can build our relationship with God by recognizing that our life comes from His love. Knowing that, “darkness feeds on apathy…and conviction is our most potent antidote” (Brown, p. 538). So if we strive with conviction and passion to love God and neighbor, then we will have life within us. This is the “Ancient Mystery.” That which is on full display, but invisible to those unaware or unwilling to search for it.

In The Lost Symbol, the female protagonist says that there is something about lying on our backs staring up at the heavens that opens our minds. And in God’s Voice Within, Thibodeaux comments that Ignatius himself seemed to prefer lying flat on his back to pray. This inspired me to lie down in the chapel here. So as long as you’re vigilant enough not to fall asleep, it does allow a unique perspective for contemplating the mysteries of life.

-Dan
written 08/04/11